Greetings to all...
Today I would like to give some insight regarding my personality, just so you'll know what kind of twisted mind you're dealing with. Let me state this bluntly. I'm a smartass. I've been a smartass as long as I can remember. I'll probably be a smartass until the day I leave this world. There, I've said it.
I guess being a smartass isn't the worst personality trait that one could have. Being a dumbass is much worse in my humble opinion. Day after day, I watch dumbasses do dumb things, wondering to myself, are they really that dumb or is it just an act.
Acting like a dumbass has it's perks too you know. Like when you know you've done something wrong and just don't feel owning up to it. Feign ignorance. Claim that you didn't know. Then, if you're lucky, you'll get a long, drawn-out explanation and you can just nod your head, give the obligatory "uh-huh" every now and then. Just think of how you have boosted the ego of the person that you've just fooled into thinking you didn't already know. They can leave feeling all warm and fuzzy inside. You can just leave while snickering on the inside.
But, let me reiterate, I am a smartass. Will I ever be a reformed smartass? Join SA, aka Smartasses Anonymous? I doubt it, however, I have in recent months tried to refrain a bit.
One of my most brilliant smartass statements was after someone came to the recovery room after an open appy (appendectomy). The guy was lying there on the stretcher and all of a sudden, out of nowhere, blurts out, "My dick is hot." I hoped I had not heard that right, so I ask, "Sir?" He then replies, "My dick is hot!"
Okay, now a normal person would have said, "What do you mean by hot?" But not me. Remember, I'm not normal. What do I say? Well, what any smartass would say of course.
I reply quietly, with a straight face while writing in my notes, "No sir. I've already looked. It's not that hot." while trying my best not to laugh. Luckily, after general anesthesia, patients do not have much recall of being in the recovery room. It's a good thing.
Thought of the day:
Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
3 comments:
A great laugh to start the day!
Thanks - Echo Doc
You might think it unnecessary to also add that it's unwise to test the depth of water with one's head... but alas, people try to do such things.
I know I was not myself in recovery (recent gall bladder removal). Had a rough (IMO) extubation and then was in alot of pain. I was so out of it, I was sure I was dying (didn't help there was a guy in recovery who had been stabbed multiple times...I think I overheard some of the staff talking and thought they meant me).
Great blog--and thank you for taking care of us drugged out whackos ;)
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